People often ask me why it is that I love being a Steampunk. They then learn the true meaning of regret, as I spend the next four hours talking about it. But I’ve narrowed this down to 5 reasons, and I thought I’d offer them to you now.
5. You get to wear the best hats. Bowlers! Top hats! This hat here! Steampunks wear the bets hats! I mean, this isn’t an invariant rule. If, for example, you’re a medieval jester, you can wear the best hats ever, but you also have a lifespan of approximately three years. Less, if they find out about you and the Queen.
4. You can eat all the crumpets you want. Actually, I can’t eat all the crumpets I want, as having that many crumpets in one place would likely be so heavy that the entire tavern would break through the crust of our planet and I’d end up battling dinosaurs in the Center of the Earth. But you can eat a LOT of crumpets.
3. David Bowie was clearly a Steampunk. Come on. Have you ever seen that man rock a cravat? Sure, Steampunks may be weird, but we’re in such lovely company!
2. Since Steampunk is an invented, imaginary world, it is necessary for you to stuff your imagination as much as possible by reading ALL the books, watching ALL the movies, and consuming ALL the imaginative media you can find. Just tell your friends what I tell my husband: I’m sorry, darling, I’d love to wash the dishes, but reading H.G. Wells books is essential to the safekeeping of my vital creative processes.
1. There is no such thing as “normal”. I hate to tell you this, but there is no such thing as normal. It just doesn’t exist. Everyone is, inside themselves, deeply peculiar. There’s no such thing as normal people; there are just people who are afraid that others will laugh at them or be mean to them if they act outside of what they think they’re “supposed” to do. If you’re friends with them, be kind, and take them to some weird, welcoming place where they can be happy.